Well as quick as it began (bullshit, thanks airlines) its over (not true, double fuck you airlines). Well not yet. I’m writing this from a hotel void of wireless internet in Christchurch, can you believe that? An airport hotel without wireless. Ridiculous.

How am I supposed to close million dollar deals in Singapore without my internet?

Speaking of million dollar deals, let me tell you about captain cockface. Now when I am at the airport at it goes bad, I am very relaxed, I don’t get mad, I keep my cool. It may not seem that way on here, but this is my space to rant so back the fuck off. Anyway, at Wanaka airport we were informed that the plane we were supposed to go on had broken down. Nearly everyone in the place (about 16 people in a tin shed, one of the best airports ever) was now going to miss their original and connecting flights. Everyone was obviously a little pissed, but hey whatever…

Old mate George was doing his best and I’m pretty happy not to be in a broken plane. Everyone was dealing with it fine. Except captain cockface, there he was with big fat mouth (and body) spitting chips about his multi million dollar company in Singapore and blah, blah, blah. Good old George was taking it all in stride, he had organised everyone a bus transfer to Queenstown and had it under control. I mean George let me behind the counter at the airport to use the phone and his internet. Legend.

Captain cockface had finished giving everyone a serve and organised himself a helicopter to get him to Queenstown super fast, even though we were supposed to go to Christchurch. Good riddance wanker. After he left George had good laugh because the dickhead left his Emirates tickets on the counter, good guys always have the last laugh.

The bus was cool, some lady had cookies for everyone. I got to sleep a little and we drove through the hills, it only takes an hour so it was fine. I had already come to terms with the fact I wasn’t going home on this particular day. I was given a hotel room for the night and everyone got on a connecting flight. Pain in the arse, but nothing you can do. My mood got a real boost though when cockface rolled in after the bus posse, only to join the end of the line. His several thousand dollar helicopter flight got him there slower than the cookie bus, and just to top it off, no more seats. The wanker got put on stand-by. That’s what you get when you are tosser. Suck turds.

Back to Snowpark

Days 5, 6, and 7

Day 5 was mellow, pretty much rode solo all morning. In the afternoon I caught up with Jye Kearney who was talking runs with young French Canadian ripper Sebastian Toutant aka Seb Toots. When I told Jye I had made Nate, Tiene and Koia famous in my previous blogs, he jumped at the chance to perform manoeuvres into front of the ixus.

First run antics, Jye Cab270

Seb, BS180 Half cab out.

After a chairlift review of footage and seeing a crazy Jap guy stomping a double back, Jye was certain he could perform better. Not the case…

This is Jye cutting his balls. I shouldn’t have stopped filming but I felt terrible, that is ones of the worst things that could possibly happen to any man (or woman with testicles). After a bathroom review, he confirmed there was in fact some blood. Get well soon.

Seb couldn’t be stopped. If you haven’t heard of Seb, you should have. He won the Empire Shakedown at 13, and stopmed at double cork back 10 at Superpark this year. He charges. Here is some of his mini park handywork.

Back one thriller, half cab out.

Little jib line.

After Jye cut his nuts, he was over it and the day wound down. That night I went to the Billabong house to have a BBQ. I learnt a few things today. For example, if you drink alcohol after having a massage you can die. Your blood flows better after a massage and when combined with the blood thinning effects of booze, small clots in the blood can be moved around the body into places like the heart and brain. Not good.

Robbie Walker throwing caution to the wind.

Dan Himbrechts doing his best Jamie Oliver

Nick G and Woody, Strictly Business.

So much better than the beef jerky and apples I have been eating all week (I didn’t have a fridge).

Those lucky bastards are all off to fly some whirlybirds around shooting the new Billabong Outerwear catalog. Have fun.

Day 6

No on hill photos, but I met up with Billy from Burton who is over here organising the 2010 catalog shoot. I thought there must have been a reason so many heavy hitters were in town. I even saw Jake Burton cruising around today. Billy told me about some of things they had on the go and it all sounds pretty sweet, but it will be about another year before we see any of them. We cut a few laps with Danny Davis and Keegan Valaika, another day of being reminded how terrible I am at snowboarding accomplished. Thanks for the ride Billy.

Last look at Snowpark, I’ll be back.

This is how dirty your stuff is after coming down the hill, it was the first time I think I have ever had to wash snowboard gear.

Saturday night I went to a local ski movie premiere in Wanaka. I don’t really know shit about skiing but I guess it was pretty good. People were freaking out about jibbing the clock tower Cardrona, I didn’t understand why considering Travis Parker and I think Devun Walsh hit it over 5 years ago. Anyway it was a good vibe in there, lots of hooting and a capacity crowd, all you need for a good premiere.

Crowd inside, lots of Oakley gear. Tanner Hall was there.

Day 7.

If you read the start of this blog, you will already know what happened when I tried to leave Wanaka. So instead of telling you again, here are some photos.

Lake Wanaka, scenic

Even toilet spokespeople are cool in NZ

Southern Lakes skyline

In summary, NZ in general and Snowpark are amazing. Not too expensive, amazing terrain, great people, and just a nice relaxed part of the world. I wish I had more time, better accommodation, and  hopefully spend less than ¼ of my time in transit. There is always a next time.

Thanks for reading.