It’s Saturday morning again and that means another Top 10 courtesy once again from our friends at TheVine. This one’s from Sebastian Cordoba and it’s damn good. Anyone have another to add? I always thought Vinnie Jones and his Desert Eagle .50 was pretty good but maybe not an insult easily reused in real life… Not to matter, Sebastian has something for you below.

There are those moments in life when you wish you had the perfect comeback, putdown or insult that unfortunately never comes until it is much too late. The ability to obliterate a rival through language alone is a much desired skill that most of us have to go without. Hindsight always produces the perfect response but all we are left with is the fantasy of what could have been.

Luckily we have a window of what those scarce moments look like through the wonder of film.

While we know that these insults are the result of hours of laborious work on behalf of screenwriters, we are still willing to go along with the fantasy. Even when we try to replicate these gems of modern language they never come across quite right but regardless, we are filled with hope that somewhere the perfect insult or comeback is possible.

We have compiled our top ten favourite insults from the silver screen. Try as we may to quote and replicate them, their contextual brilliance soon becomes evident. Enjoy and wonder at what is possible…

Language warning, so if you’re easily upset by curse words I urge you go back to watching The Gilmore Girls.

10. Anchorman (2004)
“You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”

9. The Departed (2006)
“Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.”

8. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005)
“Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you’ll find?” “A picture of me?” “No! The definition of the word ‘idiot’, which you fucking are!”

7. White Men Can’t Jump (1992)
“I seen your mother kicking a can down the street. I said ‘What you doin’?’ and she said ‘Moving’”

6. A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep who could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?”

5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

“All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we’re gonna make ’em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made ’em eat. Then all you motherfuckers are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob”

4. Dodgeball (2004)
“Will someone please catch a goddamn ball? It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob out there!”

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
“I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed, animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

2. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
“I bet you’re the kinda guy would fuck a guy in the ass and not have the common courtesy to give him a reach-around.”

1. Billy Madison (1995)
“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”