June 26, 2010

Top 10 Ways To Die On Film

Another Saturday and another Top 10. This one is courtesy of Annie Fox and our friends over at TheVine.com.au. Enjoy.

It’s easy to get desensitized to violence on film. Who hasn’t had a “ho hum” moment when yet another bullet slices through the eyeball of an innocent bystander during a bank/convenience store/train station shoot out? Yawn. And while no one is putting their hand up to get shot in the face, we can all certainly acknowledge that when it comes to the movies, there are much worse, and interesting, ways to die.

So to cut through our indifference to movie violence, and put the tummy-clutching back into witnessing a death scene, we’ve compiled our list of the ten worst ways to die on film. We know you have your favourites so make sure cast your vote too.

10. Death by decapitation
Classic: American Psycho
This unforgettable scene sticks to the basic principles of beheading: sharp instrument meets victim.

With a twist: Scream
Increase the cringe factor by a thousand simply by making the weapon something mundane and blunt – like a garage door.

9. Death by car
Classic: Meet Joe Black
This clip is made particularly enjoyable because of Brad Pitt’s I-love-gerberas-and-kittens smile just before he gets taken out by a sedan.

With a twist: Death Proof
As soon as you notice her leg hanging daintily out of the window you know you’re in for something amazing

8. Death by natural disaster
Classic: Deep Impact
A giant tidal wave consumes us – BORED!

With a twist: Magnolia
Toads drop from the sky – AY-MAY-ZING!

7. Death by mobster
Classic: Scarface
Get ready to be made into a colander! These mobster shootings never end with one bullet, when these guys kill you they prefer quantity over quality.

With a twist: Dick Tracey
When a studio wants to take that mobster death to the next level they add concrete – and lots of it. (P.S. Who knew Dustin Hoffman was in Dick Tracy?)

6. Death by skewer
Classic: Hand That Rocks The Cradle (3:55 mark)
Sure she’s the baddie, but I challenge anyone to get through this clip without heaving when she hits the picket fence. Yowch!

With a twist: Nightmare On Elm St – Freddy’s Dead
The only thing worse than making a death kebab out of a fence paling is making one out of an oversize Q-Tip. Thanks no dot com.

5. Death by ancient torture
Classic: Braveheart
Man did they know how to kill a mofo back in the old days. Not only are they stretching, disemboweling and then dicing you, they ship in an audience and make midgets act out your impending death while the onlookers cheer.

With a twist: Indiana Jones And the Temple of Doom
Old school torture made infinitely more terrifying when you add “black magic”- and a man who can PLUCK YOUR HEART OUT WITH ONLY HIS HANDS.

4. Death by melting
Classic: Wizard of Oz
Ok cynics, you may not immediately think this death bad enough to warrant its 4th place, but given this lady melts from the feet up, slow enough that she can cry out over and over “I’m melting” we would much rather take a running hug in the face from a bus than this.

With a twist: Robocop
At the dawn of thinking “green” (somewhere in the early to mid 80s) death by toxic waste hit a boom in movies and this incident from Robocop is an absolute classic.

3. Death by explosion
Classic: Rambo
War films are great for one thing – explosions. Landmines, grenades, conveniently positioned drums of fuel – you name it, if it can blast someone to smithereens it’ll have pride of place. That said, there’s one classic war explosion that beats them all in the owww stakes – Rambo’s exploding arrow.

With a twist: Scanners
Making fireworks out of someone using only the power of your mind?! RUH ROH.

2. Death by serial killer
Classic: Psycho
Serial killer movies are the type that have you double checking your windows and doors before you go to sleep. All that stalking and watching and planning – it’s so premeditated and creepy. What’s more those serial-killing-nut-jobs never just shoot a victim between the eyes, oh no – they always have some elaborate, drawn-out death ritual that stars lots of pain and a drawn out monologue about their Mum/Dad issues.

With a twist: Se7en
Speaking of elaborate serial murders no film does it quite like Se7en. Don’t look in the box, Brad!

1. Death by nom
Classic: Zombieland
Being eaten by a Zombie happens so frequently in film it’s almost traditional, but that certainly doesn’t make it any less disgusting. Is there anything more horrible than dying slowly, painfully and to the sound of your flesh, organs and bones squishing and crunching between the teeth of the rabid undead? The answer: no.

With a twist: Hannibal
The rabid undead eating someone alive is one thing, a well-spoken gent/cannibal in a suit is quite the other. This delightful dinner party scene featuring Hannibal Lector is so many types of death-meets-nom wrong it absolutely deserves number one billing in this list.

by Rick