As far as I’m concerned, the internet is for pasty weirdo’s who never leave the house. The type of shut-ins who harbour contagious skin diseases so severe, that 20 minutes of sunlight a day is considered a diabolical health risk. It’s a view I held for many years. Until now.

I’ve been asked to write a blog for the friendly gents at POP Mag, but I’m not sure what that entails. My mum asked me to write a holiday blog for my recent jungle odyssey in Borneo, so I asked my Nuevo-tech mother what a blog was. She didn’t know, and neither do I.

I’m led to believe it’s a license to shoot my mouth off; a slightly uncomfortable thought considering I’ve spent so long training myself to think before I open my sailor’s mouth. Its like I’ve been handed a live hand grenade. The fuse is burning, and on one side are a group of disaffected Rollerbladers, on the other, a group of slightly more disaffected Emo’s. The opportunities are unlimited, and the grenade is likely to go off in my hand before I find a target.

Dave at POP asked me to take a skateboarding angle to the blog, and given what I’ve seen over the years, I guess I have a few good stories. In a self imposed exile from the real world, I’ve found myself living and working in skateboarding for over 15 years, with varying degrees of spectacular failure. I’ve been an annoying skate rat, a shop monkey and a shoe salesman, all under the loose banner of skateboarding. In 9 years of labour for the skate industry, I’ve encountered the best and worst of teens, mums, dads, bosses, lurkers, junkies weirdos, stoners, has beens and primadonnas. I’ve laced their shoes and cleaned up their vomit.

I’ve gripped so many boards that I no longer have identifiable fingerprints. Which in hindsight would be great if I had the moral flexibility for a full time gig as a cat burglar.

For the most part though I’ve been a giggling observer of skateboarding, gifted with the ability to store a mountain of trivial facts and stories. All of which I will unload onto you… if I ever make it past this entry.

But as I said, I’ve done my best not to say anything stupid. So now that I have a blog, all of that goes out the window, and you get to witness the “Crash and Burn” that Maverick should have had with Goose. Strap yourself in and feel the G’s!

Ben